Tom with baby Millie, in our apartment in China
We just finished reading Peter Pan to our kids. They were thrilled with the flying and adventures. I was struck by the description of Mrs. Darling singing lullabies to the children each night until they fell asleep. This reminded me of Pa Ingalls, playing his fiddle at night to help Mary and Laura go to sleep. I'm always fascinated by these glimpses into simpler times, when parenting was based on long-held traditions and intuition, and not on what the latest expert in the best-selling parenting book has to say. Times when parents didn't feel too busy and rushed, when there were not so many other diversions and a half-hour spent singing wouldn't be viewed as a waste of time.
I would dare say a more human time. Not to completely romanticize the past, as I know some aspects of parenting then were harsher than what we would accept today. But still, maybe there's something to be learned.
Now we parents are desperate for "our" time. So desperate that we feel compelled to train our children as quickly as possible to need us as little as possible. Getting baby to fall asleep on his own is the gold standard. Any rocking, nursing, or cuddling to sleep are bad habits. Such nonsense. Parents have been available to their children at night for countless generations, usually right at baby's side. Mama could be counted on to be available if a little one were sick or scared, or needed reassurance after a bad dream.
Too many parents today may confess only with some embarrassment that they do, in fact, lay down next to their toddler while she falls asleep. Or that, yes, baby sleeps best in our bed and the crib doesn't get much use. I'll consider it a good thing when we aren't afraid to admit these things, and can happily embrace the benefits of keeping our little ones close, even at night.
